


Christmas Wishes

by GhostlyWitchAvenger



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: K/S Advent Calendar 2016, M/M, Other, Post-Star Trek Beyond, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 00:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GhostlyWitchAvenger/pseuds/GhostlyWitchAvenger
Summary: Answering the prompt:Jim has proven time after time that he would do anything for his crew. He has their friendship and regard in spades, but Jim is lonely for something more as everyone is paired up. Spock is still with Uhura, Sulu is married, Chekhov is serial dating, Bones is dating an unknown crew member, and Scotty has a weird relationship with the Enterprise. Jim is beginning to lose himself and believe he is doomed to be alone forever. The events that occur in the midst of the human holiday season change everything.I may have tweaked it a little.





	

Shirt rumpled, hair tousled, pants ill fitting… dim eyes tracked the movements of the graphics on the glass railing, the light casting dark shadows over his body. He trembled in the chilly air, but didn’t spare his jacket - discarded beside him - a single glance.

 

Wallow. Drink. Repeat.

 

Jim didn’t wish to be such a downer during the holiday season, it was the Christmas party after all and he was supposed to be having fun. But it was so damn hard when you just longed to share it with someone who probably thought you were the most idiotic being in the galaxy.

 

It certainly didn’t help that the admiralty has been breathing down his neck ever since the events of Altamid. They watched and waited for him to trip up, and give them the excuse they needed to take the ship away from him.

 

“I won’t have it,” He hissed harshly under his breath. A woman who had just been about to approach him turned on her heel back to the direction she came, having been cowed by his anger.

 

Boisterous laughter caught his attentions and his gaze was drawn to his best friend across the balcony, whose head was tilted back in mirth. Bones’ hands were entwined with the Enterprise’s resident Betazoid, bodies pressed close and sharing warmth. Lieutenant Esero’s lips were twisted into a smirk as he whispered into the CMO’s ear. Whatever he was saying, Jim didn’t want to know. Probably some sappy shit. Or dirty, who knew with him?

 

They looked like one of those romantic postcards with the lights of San Francisco behind them.

 

Wallow. Drink. Repeat.

 

Then there was Pavel, who was the serial dater of the ship. He didn’t hold a relationship for very long - kid was too young really - but he always had someone to hold and whisper sweet nothings to.

 

Wallow. Drink. Repeat.

 

Hikaru had Ben back on the Yorktown, who had flown back to Earth on a shuttle with Demora just so they could spend leave together.

 

Wallow. Drink. Repeat.

 

Even Scotty had his weird-as-hell relationship with the ‘Fleet’s flagship. Something he shouldn’t be jealous of, but he was.

 

Wallow. Drink. Repeat.

 

And then there was the kicker. Nyota had Spock. He could see them in his mind’s eye, wherever they were at the moment. They would be standing close together, a not-smile on Spock’s lips and a dazzling one on Uhura’s. They’d touch fingers, kissing the Vulcan way and sharing their breath, their thoughts…

 

He wanted Spock. He yearned for Spock.

 

And he just couldn’t have him.

 

Damn it all.

 

“It was my understanding that one should be experiencing feelings of joy at a gathering such as this,” He froze at the familiar baritone voice, “It seems, however, that you are not. Maybe it would be prudent of you to put on your coat?”

 

Jim forced a smile onto his lips as he turned around, Saurian brandy in hand. His first officer was standing there, perfect as ever bundled in winter clothing and hands clasped behind his back. His ears and nose were flushed a bright green - adorable.

 

“Spock,” He dragged out the vowel, though it wasn’t voluntary. He must’ve had a lot to drink tonight, “I thought you would be with Nyota.”

 

“Why would I be with her?” Okay, maybe he was too sober for this, because he didn’t think he could handle a conversation with an oblivious Spock. 

 

“She is your girlfriend right?”

 

“Ah, you are operating under the impression that we are currently in a relationship. Understandable, since we were. Approximately two-point-three-six months ago,” Jim was sure his brain short-circuited at those words. He pursed his lips to keep the shock from colouring his features.

 

“‘Were’?” He questioned.

 

“Indeed. We terminated our relationship and separated amicably. She is my friend, nothing more,” The half-Vulcan leaned against the railing beside his captain, hands folded in front of him. Kirk didn’t understand what was happening at the moment, not really. His XO could have been speaking in Vulkhansu for all he knew, he would have understood just as much, and his body language was all wrong.

 

“But… you both seemed so… content,” He didn’t want to say ‘happy’, it seemed undeniable that he would have offended Spock in some way, shape, or form.  
His first officer’s hand moved as if on its own. Jim drew his own hand back to avoid the mental connection he was sure was very much unwelcome. He was surprised, though, when Spock quickly withdrew when he did so.

 

“We may have seemed so to most, but most of our interactions were a facade,” Chocolate eyes glanced away, “While she was ready to put everything she had into our relationship, I… could not.”

 

“Couldn’t… or wouldn’t?” Jim waved the waiter for another drink after he downed the rest, the tumbler making a hollow clunk on the metal banister, “There’s a fine line between the two.”

 

Spock tilted his head in acquiescence, “You are correct.”

 

An awkward, heavy silence fell over the both of them as Christmas music still played the the background, raucous laughter and cheers filling the air. The bartender said nothing as he gave a new glass to Jim, never once pausing in his stride even when he grabbed the empty one.

 

“So, which one is it?”

 

“I could not,” And when those dark brown eyes met blue, Jim’s breath caught in his throat. He was so used to seeing this man so closed off, even to him, that the raw emotion he glimpsed cut straight to his core. 

 

He didn’t move away when Spock reached for his hand.

 

“I could not, for my affection was placed in another,” Long, thin fingers entwined with his own, pale skin contrasting starkly against his own golden tan. Both hands were calloused and scarred, telling stories that the other knew so well.

 

“Who?”

 

Spock said nothing, and he didn’t have to. All he did was extend two fingers towards him, and maybe - for once - everything was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> I plan on writing another piece answering this prompt, but it will be much longer than this one and with multiple chapters.
> 
> Find my fan art for this piece on my dA: witchavenger.deviantart.com


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